you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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