Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
