You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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