Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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