my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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