I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
