Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
