so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
