You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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