dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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