White coat. Heels.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
