Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
