I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
