Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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