I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
