I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
