And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Acid is not a monday night drug
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
