Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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