He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
