Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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