i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
