Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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