Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
