I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
