oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
