I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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