Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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