he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
