i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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