You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
