doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
