Say something about gay babies.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize