they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
