the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
