there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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