grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
