is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
