I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize