I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize