Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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