North Korea, Best Korea!
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
