whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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