she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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