That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
