I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize