This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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