you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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