I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
