What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
