Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
