you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
