i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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