I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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