I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
false alarm, still single
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