Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
