so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
