dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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