I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We had sex on a dog bed..
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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