Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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