I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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