i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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