Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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