I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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