Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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