Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
