What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize