highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
