Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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