Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
