The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
