And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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