Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
