your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
