He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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