So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize