I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
