Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
