i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
